Jake-isms, Part 2

I must stress that every time Jake says something funny, I whip out my Blackberry and immediately take note of it. Best. Idea. Ever.

I have to preface this post with a couple of quick notes. Jake is currently fixated on a few things:
1. Any kind of loud music that involves a guitar
2. The fact that some people smoke, and mommy once called it "bad"
3. Anything having to do with Washington DC
4. Dog poop. (But I think you knew that already.....)

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Jake, poking at the saline solution in my empty contacts case, then touching his fingertip to his eyelashes repeatedly: "I put my contaps on! I can see you!"
(Blinks dramatically.)

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Jake: "I have to go to work."
Me: "Oh yeah, what kind of job do you do?"
Jake: "I have to smoke."

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Me, quitely to myself: "What the freak?"
Jake, with apparently incredible hearing powers: "Don't say freak!"

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After seeing a Victoria's Secret commercial on TV: "They have a secret like me!"

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Me: "Jake, cousin Kyler has a new baby sister! What do you think her name is?"
Jake: "Guitar Hero."

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Jake: "Ru, you wanna do snuggle wiff me an' mommy? Okay, here we go!"

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Jake: "I live in Washin' DC!"

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Outside of a 7-11, a 20-something guy is having a cigarette while talking on his cell phone. Upon seeing him Jake says: "Wook mommy, he's smoking! He's a bad boy."

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I'm sniffing the air in the living room: "Something stinks in here..."

Jake: "It smells like poop and chockey [chocolate] milk."

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Jake singing classic rock: "Soda Ride! Take it iz-at!"

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Jake: "Wait! I forgot a good idea!"

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Me: "Jake, both of Mommy's grandmas live in Heaven with God and Jesus."

Jake: "My peepa lives in Washin' DC!"
(Uh, not anymore Jake, but I won't correct him on that....)

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Me: "Jake, do you know who the president is?"

Jake: "Yeah, he's a horsey!"

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Kid Rock's "All Summer Long" comes on the radio.
Jake says: "It's Rock-Kid!"
I am impressed regardless :)

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Every single time we walk in our front yard:
"Mommy, it smells like dog poop."
(He's kindof on to something, we have these nasty mushrooms growing that are called "stinkhorns")

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Bronx Zoo

I am painfully aware that the pictures have been lacking on this blog lately. It's the old case of the Cobbler's kids going without shoes. I have been so busy taking pictures of other people that my poor kid has been under-photographed lately. I did actually whip out my camera on a few occasions over this last week, I just haven't posted any yet...

So here are some pics from when we made our first trip to the Bronx Zoo a few weeks ago. I'll tell ya, it made me miss DC, because in DC the zoo is FREE (ok, taxpayer dollars, whatever). Whereas in NY, the zoo costs an arm and a leg! I spent close to $70 in one afternoon on the following: zoo parking, zoo admission for one adult and one child (and that was WITH my coupon!), one stuffed baby tiger toy, and one lunch, which Jake and I shared, consisting of snack bar chicken fingers, fries, soda and an ice cream cone. Sheesh!

My friends are trying to talk me into buying a membership to the Zoo, "Which will pay for itself in about 2-3 visits". Ummm, yeah...I think I'm all caught up on spending a gazillion dollars to look at smelly reptiles and obnoxious birds, while fighting 5,000 other parents with strollers for a peek at a sleeping tiger's rear end...

Anywhoo... here's what we saw...

Peacock just roaming along the pathways with us



Jake "taking" mommy's picture



We're all about the prairie dogs!



Jake in a log



My favorite image of Jake all day :) I was afraid at first to let him climb this since most of the kids playing on the 'spiderweb' were much older, but I'm trying to be hands-off at the playground lately to let him learn. He did pretty well! :)



Wallabee (sp?). Says Jake: "It's wike a wittle kangawoo."



Jake in a giant tortoise shell, while refusing to face the camera for the 587th time that day. (Much more exciting things to do than pay attention to your mother and that dang camera)



Goats. At the zoo. So glad we paid $27.50 to look at something we can see on a farm. For free.



And another completely wild and exotic endangered animal: a goose.



Our good friends Bruno and Juliana, who shared a ride with us in the Skyfari!



The tiger - ROOOOAAARRRRR!!





The good news was that Jake had a good time and it was a good excuse to spend an afternoon outside in the fresh air. Maybe we'll try again in the spring, by then I will have forgotten how crowded it was and how much money I spent... ;)

So who Is Jake voting for?

Swing voter Jake finally breaks his silence and declares which candidate is getting his 'vote' this November. (I SWEAR we did not convince him to pick one over the other - in fact, weeks ago, Jake was fully supporting the other guy, and Ralph and I actually have opposing political views!)

Not Me! Monday

My good friend MckMama can tell you all about Not Me Mondays - she invented them! :)

1. I did not ignore Jake's blog since last Monday! That's impossible!

2. I did not allow Jake to eat his Kix in my bed this morning, and I certainly not let the dog clean up everything Jake dropped. I also didn't eat my Kashi Good Friends in bed either. That would be a bad example.

3. We absolutely do not have something called Stinkhorns growing in our yard. Because that would be absolutely disgusting. And smelly too.

4. One of my weddings was not named Website of The Week by my online proofing provider. Oh wait, yes it was. Well then I am certainly not bragging about it. ;)

5. I am not updating the blog right now instead of working on my 55 item to-do list. That would be really irresponsible of me...

6. My living room does not look like it was ransacked. I think I've mentioned before that I am one heck of a housekeeper.

7. I am not secretly dying to go watch last night's episode of Dexter on my DVR. Stupid to-do list....

8. I did not consider letting Jake sleep in mommy & daddy's bed last night because I was missing him from working all weekend....

"Not Me!" Monday!

This is a great new blog posting game started by my good friend MckMama over at My Charming Kids.

The following are things I did NOT do in the past few days. Certainly not ME!

1. I did not wake myself and my second shooter up an hour early (at 5am) for Saturday's wedding because I got the math wrong the night before when calculating our arrival time. No, not me!

2. I did not let Jake crawl into the spare bed with me last night so I could get some extra cuddle time in since neither one of us seemed to be able to sleep in the early hours of the morning...

3. I absolutely did not pay a cleaning crew to come clean up the house because it was such a pigsty. Certainly not. I keep a perfectly clean house at all times.

4. I did not bribe Jake into getting dressed this morning by allowing him to keep his binkie in while I dressed him on the changing table. No, we have strict rules about such things!

5. It would have been completely irresponsible for me to simply leave the spilled Honey Smacks on the floor when Jake spilled them, since I knew the dog would eventually clean them up. Two hours later. So it's good I did not just leave them on the floor....

6. I did not halfway hear Jake yelling to get out of the crib on Sunday morning but instead let my mom (who was staying with us) get up with Jake. That wouldn't have been very hostess-like of me.

7. I most certainly did not have to wash our bedspread and couch covers because the dog vomited on it. We have a completely well-behaved dog who would never deface our belongings in such a way.

8. I did not stand by and watch with my arms crossed as my son pitched a fit of epic proportions (flopping on the ground like a fish out of water, pounding his butt into a hedgerow, fists pounding into damp soil) in a local park the other day. And there was certainly not a local homeless man who interrupted his morning shaving ritual to see where the heck all that crazy noise was coming from...

Because if any of this did happen, I would probably be mighty embarassed about it! ;)

Feel free to confess your "Not Me!" Monday confessions by checking out MckMama's blog and playing along!

York County Fair

A few weeks ago, on one of my last weekends before Wedding Madness 2008 (I'm basically shooting every weekend from mid-September to mid-November) kicked back into high gear, we took a trip out to see my parents in York, PA. The York County Fair was in full swing and Jake and my mom and I spent the better part of the afternoon taking in all the sights and smells and rides and tasty goodness that Central Pennsylvania has to offer.

Jake's brilliant mother, you know, the one who is a professional photographer, managed to forget her camera in the car. So I had nothing to record Jake's first glimpse of racing pigs, no photos of the look of sheer terror when he saw a (really ugly) turkey live and in person ("Oh no! Mommy what happened him?"), no pictures of him meeting and petting a half-dozen live baby deer, not a single image of him riding round and round with squeals of delight as he sat in the car of the kiddie rides. Nope, not me. I left my camera in the car.

Luckily, some of the amusements at the fair capitalized on the forgetfulness of parents, an offered (and by offered, I mean charged willingly) to take photographs of your child enjoying themselves and printed the photos before your very eyes!

I present for your viewing pleasure, the trifecta of cuteness:


Yes, this is Jake. In a basket. With a baby piglet. And a baby deer. I mean, REALLY??!! Do you know what torture it was to see this image unfolding before my eyes and NOT having a camera to document this??

And we also got a picture of Jake and myself with an enormous Clydesdale horse. Jake was rather vocal about the fact that this was DEFINITELY a boy horse. If you get my drift.


I've been a little better about remembering my camera now after this debacle. ;)

Jake-isms, Installment One

These fun little "Jake-isms" have been typed into my Blackberry NotePad as they happened over the last month or so, and copied and pasted for your viewing pleasure today:





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Returning after being shooed from the kitchen so that mommy could clean up the broken glass: "I bring my firetruck. He wanna get big boo-boo too."


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While brushing our teeth together:

Jake: "Doing Mommy?"

Me: "I'm brushing my teeth Jake, what are you doing?"

Jake: "I eating cake."


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Jake, after giving a pretzel stick to the dog: "You're welcome!"


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Jake, authoritatively, after taking a long sip of mommy's iced latte: "It's decaf."


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Pointing to a spot on the back of his head that just got a boo-boo: "It's red!"


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"Mommy, what's wrong? What's wrong wiff my butt?"


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Eating noodles: "I wanna haff too much. Okay Mommy?"


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Pointing to a small brown leaf that blew into our kitchen from outside: "Look, dat's dog poop, okay?"


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About the dog, who is playing with his ball: "She's a BAD dog!"


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Jake has a paper cup filled partially with water, and another with puffed wheat cereal. He begins to mix the two together: "I'm making juice!"