Jake-isms, Part 2

I must stress that every time Jake says something funny, I whip out my Blackberry and immediately take note of it. Best. Idea. Ever.

I have to preface this post with a couple of quick notes. Jake is currently fixated on a few things:
1. Any kind of loud music that involves a guitar
2. The fact that some people smoke, and mommy once called it "bad"
3. Anything having to do with Washington DC
4. Dog poop. (But I think you knew that already.....)

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Jake, poking at the saline solution in my empty contacts case, then touching his fingertip to his eyelashes repeatedly: "I put my contaps on! I can see you!"
(Blinks dramatically.)

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Jake: "I have to go to work."
Me: "Oh yeah, what kind of job do you do?"
Jake: "I have to smoke."

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Me, quitely to myself: "What the freak?"
Jake, with apparently incredible hearing powers: "Don't say freak!"

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After seeing a Victoria's Secret commercial on TV: "They have a secret like me!"

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Me: "Jake, cousin Kyler has a new baby sister! What do you think her name is?"
Jake: "Guitar Hero."

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Jake: "Ru, you wanna do snuggle wiff me an' mommy? Okay, here we go!"

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Jake: "I live in Washin' DC!"

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Outside of a 7-11, a 20-something guy is having a cigarette while talking on his cell phone. Upon seeing him Jake says: "Wook mommy, he's smoking! He's a bad boy."

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I'm sniffing the air in the living room: "Something stinks in here..."

Jake: "It smells like poop and chockey [chocolate] milk."

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Jake singing classic rock: "Soda Ride! Take it iz-at!"

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Jake: "Wait! I forgot a good idea!"

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Me: "Jake, both of Mommy's grandmas live in Heaven with God and Jesus."

Jake: "My peepa lives in Washin' DC!"
(Uh, not anymore Jake, but I won't correct him on that....)

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Me: "Jake, do you know who the president is?"

Jake: "Yeah, he's a horsey!"

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Kid Rock's "All Summer Long" comes on the radio.
Jake says: "It's Rock-Kid!"
I am impressed regardless :)

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Every single time we walk in our front yard:
"Mommy, it smells like dog poop."
(He's kindof on to something, we have these nasty mushrooms growing that are called "stinkhorns")

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