So it's been seven weeks since Alex was born. I have been savoring the moments of sniffing her unique baby scent, the sweet moments of rubbing my face against her fluffy bunny hair after she has a bath, cuddling her in the early morning hours when we are the only two awake in the house. These moments are fleeting, and few and far between. There are many more moments of chaotic diaper changes, of yelling at Jake while I trip over his damn Matchbox cars, moments of cursing under my breath because the baby is crying and the bottle is leaking, moments where the phone is ringing and I wonder why I still try to keep my business afloat when I barely have time to shower, let alone photograph other people's children.
But today was a good day: Jake is at Mema's, Alex is napping soundly in the living room, and I'm back to work, remembering why I love my job. I took phone calls, changed my voicemail so it no longer says I am on maternity leave, gave quotes to potential clients, put the finishing touches on a great client's wedding album, and really truly remembered that I love photography. I am so blessed to be able to work from home. It was so hard to go back to work when Jake was a baby. It was so hard to leave him with strangers when we were just establishing some sort of routine. So hard to commute back and forth to work on so little sleep. I hoped and prayed for a change in our situation that would allow me to be able to work from home and take care of our kids. When the opportunity came for Ralph to take his current job and for us to move to New York, we jumped in with both feet and haven't looked back.
The days here aren't perfect, my stress levels still rise, and I still manage to complain when I forget that my prayers of four years ago have been answered. I take being a work-from-home mom for granted too often, but there are many days when we are still in our pajamas in the afternoon (cue the neighbor ringing the doorbell for complete embarrassment on my part), I'm doing laundry, Alex is asleep in the swing and Jake is playing with his trains, and our schedule is completely up to me. I do know how lucky we are, and I know these days won't last forever. The busy wedding season is coming up and maternity leave is coming to an end. But today was a good day.
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3 comments:
Glad to hear you had such a good day. Also glad that your writing continues to be as well crafted as your photography!
I sooo remember reading your posts back then and identifying so well with you when Jake had to attend that rotten daycare. French fries, right?!? Thank goodness you are in a new place where your photographic talents can be fully realized. Unfortunately for me, you are literally in a new place! But I am so happy for you. As much as I love my job most days, I would much rather work from home. Maybe in 10 more years, they will let me Skype with my students in my pajamas! :)
Thanks Dad :)
Kristin - always nice to know someone is reading even when I don't post pictures, and I especially like that you have read and remembered for a number of years now :) I just read the french fry post in his blog book not too long ago! I will have to post about the blog book - another blog friend made one up for me and does it as her business. Very cool! And yes, here's to hoping that in 2020, you can educate via Skype in your PJs! :)
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